The Stormtroopers return one final time to set the record straight.
Terrors of Tantooine. Harrassers of Hoth. Maybe the stories you’ve been told about Imperial Stormtroopers belong at the bottom of the Sarlacc Pit. Perhaps it’s but a myth that Stormtroopers are no more than the incompetent foot soldiers of the Galactic Empire, as we’ve so been lead to believe.
I guess the public has been fallen victim to a steady source of propaganda. Truth be told, you Stormtroopers are a formidable lot.
No wonder every planet trembles at the might of the Galactic Empire. I think I’m finally convinced. The Imperial Stormtrooper is the mightiest fighting unit in all the cosmos. It would take some extraordinary force to unseat you.
Don’t you dare laugh. Do you not remember the Ewoks banging on Stormtrooper helmets like drums? How they were basting Han Solo over a spit? Did you not once question just as to where they got that dress for Princess Leia? Don’t assume they’re cuddly just because they’re chubby, because all that fat is from chowing down on human flesh!
This concludes our series, and now that we’ve had a chance to hear their side of the story, maybe we all have a newfound appreciation and respect for the legions upon legions of hard-fighting Imperial Stormtroo… Do you hear horns? Oh no, I think the Ewoks may want seconds. I’m outta here!
